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Better Living

by Sam

Always look north except when facing south.

Keep a spatula in your glove compartment – you never know when you might go on another impromptu bear hunt.

If you ever find yourself in a situation that you feel you can’t get out of, just push past your grandmother and run as fast as your legs can carry you.

Things are not always as they seem – be sure to jab an ice pick into stuff to make sure it’s really there.

Caution is the parent of safety. Abandon is the step-brother of nudity.

If it tastes purple give it to Larry.

Words that wouldn't fight back if you pushed them into a locker

by Sam